blog banner 1 resized

How to support your child when facing separation anxiety

Read on to learn more about parental and kid separation anxiety and how to help your child make the transition from pandemic family life at home to the outside world.

Blog summary:

Lockdowns, school closings, and remote work have disrupted family life for many over the course of the COVID-19 pandemic’s two-year period. This has meant much of time at home with the child and family handling challenging and unpredictable conditions. Leaving your child at home while you attend to work obligations is never easy, especially when the baby needs you. Maternal separation anxiety also increases as new moms venture outside, and a mother’s sentiments of despair and remorse increase. With this blog, we hope to provide you with the tips to manage a situation if you or your child ever exhibits separation anxiety!

Lockdowns, school closings, and remote work have disrupted family life for many over the course of the COVID-19 pandemic’s two-year period. This has meant much of time at home with the child and family handling challenging and unpredictable conditions. Many children haven’t interacted with other kids, strangers, or teachers since they are accustomed to having their parent or caregiver nearby at all times of the day.

For some infants, it’s all they’ve known – they have mostly remained indoors and haven’t been socially exposed to outsiders. So leaving them at home while you attend to work obligations is never easy, especially when the baby clings to you and screams anytime you leave. Maternal separation anxiety also increases as new moms venture outside, and a mother’s sentiments of fear, despair, and remorse during brief separations from her child are at their highest!

What is separation anxiety between a mother and a child?

Simply put, “separation anxiety” is a concept that expresses the fear, sadness, or guilt that a mother or child may feel when they are temporarily separated from one another.

Infants and new mothers both experience separation anxiety, which is a natural, healthy aspect of a child’s growth and development. It shows that a child is emotionally connected to their parents. Your baby will develop into an autonomous toddler with the aid of a solid sense of security.

How does separation anxiety manifest between a mother and a child?

In newborns, it frequently begins as early as 4 to 5 months and peaks by the age of 3. It begins in young moms as they prepare to return to work. Separation anxiety may suddenly appear while you are dropping your child off at daycare or are just using the restroom. Around 15 months, separation anxiety recurs just as it seems the infant is beginning to adjust.

Changes in the environment can frequently make a child anxious, especially when a new sibling is added, a new caregiver is introduced, a parent passes away, etc. Children frequently go through a stage where they are “clingy” and fearful of strange people and environments. A kid may have a separation anxiety disorder if they experience this dread frequently, for longer than four weeks, or when they are 6 years old. To be absolutely certain that this is accurate, it is vital to speak with a doctor.

What are the signs of mother-child separation anxiety?

During separation, babies frequently exhibit increased levels of clinginess. We observe crying children, as well as those that are restless, agitated, and fearful of new caregivers. As the child ages, they learn to embrace their new surroundings without their parents/primary caregivers. The same is true for new mothers, who tend to worry more about the child, especially in the first few days. That is typical. It’s an indication of how strong the bond between the child and their carers has already become. Even for short periods of time apart, some mothers experience severe guilt. An additional insult may include feelings of fury, anger, irritation, headache, and elevated heart rate.

What to do in the case of separation anxiety?

  1. Avoid sneakily leaving the house. This may exacerbate long-term concerns with separation anxiety and trust. Making an attempt to depart without saying goodbye when your child is there or when they are involved in an activity is a grave mistake.
  2. Don’t be embarrassed to check in during the day; it doesn’t matter how frequently it occurs. The guilt of leaving will be lessened.
  3. Sometimes, naming and talking about your feelings with your partner or friends will help you feel less stressed and guilty.
  4. By introducing your child to parks, daycare facilities, pre-schools, and other social settings on a regular basis, you can help them improve their interpersonal abilities and boost their involvement with peers and adults!
  5. Keep your feelings under control and try not to be overtly emotive in front of the child! Their anxiousness will increase if they see you upset.

The best solution: practice healthy separation

  1. Allowing them autonomy so that they can roam and move wherever they want as long as they are safe.
  2. Exposing the infants to brief separations through activities like separate room stays, daycare centres, preschools, etc.
  3. For the purpose of preparing the child for school, it is crucial to establish a weekly organised routine by bringing them regularly to social places like daycare centres.
  4. Playing games like peek-a-boo that promote brief separation.
  5. Introduce children to new caretakers gradually.
  6. Calm them down if they’re upset.
  7. Be patient with them!

To close off…

…we would say that separation anxiety between a mother and a child is common. Let yourself know that you are not a bad parent, as separation and stranger anxiety are common in infants. They’re experiencing the world for the very first time and might sometimes take time to get oriented. There is no need to feel guilty when you must leave, but you should let them know you will return and make sure they are in a secure location so that you, as a new mother, may feel less concerned.

With this information, we hope you’re less anxious around your child – and can manage a situation if you or your child ever exhibits separation anxiety!

References:

  1. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1551332/
  2. https://www.unicef.org/coronavirus/support-child-covid-reopening
  3. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/sep-anxiety.html
  4. https://www.webmd.com/parenting/separation-anxiety